One of my favorite memories is from 1985. My best friend Sarah and I were seven and nine, and we had created a time capsule using a tin box, a few toys, and notes. We buried the box near the base of a sweet gum tree. Afterward, we climbed up the tree on the wooden planks driven in with nails and relaxed on the wooden platform. The last thought on each of our minds was, “What did she write on her note?” We were always doing crafts together, going to the park, attending birthday parties, or playing with Barbie dolls. But, a year later my parents decided to move to California. This move changed our relationship on our friendship. We made an effort over the years to write and call each other, but eventually life’s responsibilities became more important. I felt more awkward when texting or the Internet was introduced. It was fun for the first time being in the crowd, but now I feel lonelier than ever. Although texting and the Internet help people stay in touch, both are powerless when it comes to making true friends.
I have to admit my childhood relationship with Sarah was wonderful compared to what little friendship we have today. One of the best feelings is when you truly know the other friend on a personal level. I am five again and the world is larger through my eyes with no worries. Sarah is like me, a child who is loved and cared for. My eyes do not lie because we had very little or no problems with communication. Back then, we had a house phone to call each other. Occasionally, we would share my brothers Commodore 64 and Atari games and we called it, “Personal Game Time.” However, this appears to be only time we loved the current technology together.
Sarah and I wrote many letters, dotting our I’s with hearts, adding smiley faces and creating squiggly drawings bordering our stationary. We would write about the kid who sat next to us during class or what we were doing for the weekend coming up. Most of the time, I would cherish her memories by stashing the letters away in a pretty box adorned with little fake flowers. I still write to her occasionally these days, but I have not yet seen a note from her in return.
We spent a lot of time together as kids in Crestview growing up until I had to move away with the family. I remember riding my pink banana seat bicycle clear across town to her house one day to go visit. When my parents heard about it, I was in trouble for cycling all the way from Bowers Ave, through the downtown area and past the Hot Wheels skating rink. Normally, we would visit on weekends switching off at each other’s house. We always had a blast playing together, whether it was tag, dolls, digging up mud, food fights or climbing up to the fort in the tree.
In this current decade, my friendship with Sarah has changed dramatically due to adult responsibilities and the use of texting and the Internet. We both live a busy life with family, school, and work. Sarah married not long ago and is now pregnant. We are both failing to communicate because of these adult choices. I still think of her, and when school is out I plan on making a better effort to stay in touch. It takes two people to make a friendship work, so I do not know how long this one will last.
I have strong opinions about texting in general, and when Sarah texts me these days, I do not know how her messages are coming across. I can’t hear the tone in her voice; there are only words on a screen. When her text is all in small lettering, bad grammar or a long run on sentence, this sometimes leads to misunderstandings. I enjoy hearing how she doing, but I find text messages to be impersonal. I want to hear Sarah’s voice in my ear, rather than looking at a small screen. Because there is no physical contact at all, the message sent created a brick wall between us. When I have my phone with me, I would call her rather than texting in return.
The Internet is another way to stay in touch with Sarah, as well as an endless supply of information, emails and games. However, I can see those bricks being built higher than before. There are Facebook shout-outs, instant messengers on Yahoo and MSN, Tweets… the list goes on. Instead of meeting each other in person, we are typing a quick “Hello, how are you doing?” and logging off. I find this quick and easy, but again impersonal. I am looking at a monitor screen instead of going to the beach, shopping or visiting with her. Unless we both make the time for each other, I don’t see where this friendship is going.
How can we break this vicious cycle of technology taking over our lives? In the end, we can’t because technology is everywhere we go. We have TV’s, internet, phones, and video game systems at home. There is technology in shopping stores, libraries and even at a concert hall. True friends are built from the ground up the way a house is built. There is a foundation that is laid, but it’s being eroded by technology. Sending a text on the phone or a shout-out on Facebook will not help the construction grow. Friendships need to be built face to face, not through today’s technology. This is a choice we make, and I choose to find out what was written on Sarah’s note that we had planted years ago that built up our foundation. Perhaps, the smiley face on her letter will create a new window on the wall - hope for a new beginning.
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