(You Know When Your Butt Is Big)
1. When you get out of bed, look down and see an indent in the mattress. :0
2. When you can use it for shutting ANY door, no hands needed.
3. When your spouse or other half uses your cheeks as a drum set just to watch them jiggle.
4. When you can see the butt prints from a steamed up shower door.
5. When you sit on carpet and don't realize you just sat right on top of embroidery floss or of something soft (maybe part of a blanket) and when you get up the item is in the crack. (owwww)
6. When your cat comes to visit you in the mornings and wakes you up by kneading on your rear. (He is a big cat too)
7. When your old High School jeans cannot get past your thighs or knees. If you decide to try this, find a place to land softly; not near a toilet or a hard door.
8. When your clothes/underwear are bunching up and being eaten alive! (Have to go hide somewhere to go pull it out, watch out for security cameras or other onlookers)
9. When your learning bellydancing, everything jiggles! Plus having that big butt helps you to feel the groove more when your dancing. Use that butt for your advantage!
10. When one of your favorite songs is Honky Tonk badonkbadonk (Trace Adkins) or Sir Mix A Lot's Baby Got Back. (Great beats)
Please take no offense from the joke, some of us do have big butts and we can't help it. I am proud to be an owner of a big butt myself. So yes, having one is part of life and I don't mind picking on myself once in a while. (LOL) All of the above has happened to me and no animals have been hurt in the making of this joke.
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