A Day in the Life of Stinky

A Day in the Life of Stinky
By Jenn H (aka Patch)
Corrected by: Stinky

I adore the outdoors no matter what my master says. “Ha! My left paw!” She says, “No, bad kitty.” But I don’t care because I got cat-attitude! Even if I did get stuck outside sometimes, when she opens the door I just walk right back in with my tail high in the air. Sometimes though, I like to play and eat the tall grass and she will come running out to get me, so I munch as fast as I can. This is bad for me later on when my stomach starts to hurt and I’ll just throw up on the carpet. “Yuk, there’s a hairball with that too.”

I also love to rub all into the carpet with my paws and legs stretched out completely sideways, great stretch. Then I’ll just sit there like that for a while and wait for my mom to walk by. As she looks at me thinking I am sooo cute, I’ll eat up the attention she gives me for a moment and then I’ll attack. “Ha, ha!” Surprise, nibble the hand! “Move that foot and I’ll paw at it too!”

One of my most common parts of the day is liter time! I will go potty at any given time of the day when I want. The best time is right after when mommy likes to clean out the box completely with new sand. I can hear her in background yelling something obscene with my name it. “Ha, ha!” She hates it worse when I leave a bomb that smells up the entire room, I don’t care really, I may even like the smell. It’s funny to watch the humans leave the room after that. They just point at me and say my name really loud and say some strange S* word I’ve never heard of.

I especially like to take naps mainly during the afternoons. If I am not lying on the kitchen wooden chairs soaking in some sun rays, you can find me literally sprawled out on top of the couch. Now those are some fluffy cushion tops! I also love it when my parents do the laundry and they are still nice and warm. When mom or dad walks back in the room they usually see me all curled on top of the clothes and one of them would say, “Brat! Those are clean!” Of course, I don’t care, I got cat-attitude, besides I’m sleepy…..yawn! And it feels so warm! At one time though, I woke up out of a dream and found some panties curled up on my head.

Now if you want to talk warm places how about those laps! My daddy lounges around the couch as bad as me, so on occasion I like to lay right on top of him sometimes. I stretch out on his chest and lap and just snooze for about an hour if he does not move.


I really love cleaning. Well I like being very vain for the most part. All the petting, scratches and meals, overall I just love to clean my fur and look nice most of the time. Only on days when I escape to the backyard I will go roll in dirt and get really filthy. But later on I’ll clean up. Boy, it is the greatest feeling just to sprint in grass and roll in fresh dirt!
I do have spurts at night sometimes where I have to run so fast almost colliding with THE DOG. I even like to swipe at him sometimes for fun or even if he gets way to close to me, it is a bit unnerving and get a little grumpy. Believe me I claim whatever place I can get, even if it’s to kick THE DOG off his own bed. Besides his bed is comfy and he just cowers by the couch.
Well by bed time for the humans I am usually awake and eating food or waiting in the hallway for the main door to open. But when I’m tired I’ll actually get comfortable at the end of the bed right at my daddy’s feet. So he has to normally move both his legs around my body, I am pretty big for my age, and at least I stay fit. Well, that is all I can think of for now. There are many days that are different and I get lots of loving, so I am very happy where I am. I hope they don’t move again because I absolutely hate car rides. I will just keep pooping in the back are every time! Bye for now!